John Dingell's widow writes poignantly on her Facebook page early Sunday about loss, gratitude and other emotions on this second weekend without her husband of 38 years. Excerpts follow.
By Debbie Dingell
I woke up at 3 a.m. again, which pretty much seems to be the time I will awaken now.
I came home to Dearborn after the burial [Thursday] at Arlington Cemetery and just allowed myself to grieve. John kept sending little signals to try to keep me from crying. . . .
As I turned the TV on yesterday to just cry, "47 Ronin," one of John’s favorite movies was on (he watched it the day he died), and I watched it for the first time ever from start to finish.
Then real life grounds you. . . . [I] tried to ease back into normal life, attending a pancake breakfast in Ypsi Township. Have never missed a 1A UAW bowling tournament. They wrapped me in warmth, but the love there made me want to cry too.
Had brunch with wonderful, loving friends. Then I just put his sweatshirt on and let the memories overwhelm me.
This morning I will start the many thank you notes I need to write for people who have been so kind . . . [including] the many friends who came to say good-bye. Every person had a Dingell story -- many funny ones.
![](https://dd-res.s3.amazonaws.com/photos/John___Debbie_Dingell__Xmas_2016_card__FB_34459.jpg)
The Dingells' 2016 Christmas card. "I have a huge hole," she posts early Sunday. (Photo: Facebook)
He loved people, he loved community, he loved Michigan and he believed in social justice. He would never have thought that people would turn out as they did. He never thought he had done enough. I am going to try to capture as many of the stories as I can. . . .
Burial at Arlington was the hardest part yet of the week. It is all he asked of me. He was a soldier through and through and this is where he wanted to rest. The military were kind and strong and I did not feel strong. I will hold the flag they gave me to my heart more than I should.
Now life goes on, but I have a huge hole. It’s a lousy club to belong to. Surprisingly, at this age [65] I have more friends than I should who have been here, who are trying to help me through.
The littlest things hit you so very hard -- his toothbrush, his slippers, the book he read the day he died.
He did tell me not to cry and that I had work to do. I heard him in my ear when I read the paper at 3 a.m. and sent a note to the mayor of Ann Arbor about the train station. I woke Rashida [Tlaib] up (I did wait until 7 a.m.) and asked her what are we doing about the uncovered [pet] coke at Marathon [alongside the Detroit River].
And I started planning Pączki Day (the day before Ash Wednesday), which John always celebrated big, sending them to his friends far and wide. I am going to celebrate him by ensuring the tradition remains strong. [Rep.] Haley Stevens already agreed to watch them being made with me and help deliver them to friends in D.. I will ask my other colleagues to join me.
Thank you to all of you for your friendship and support.