Tom Barrow, the thrice-failed mayoral candidate, is attempting to, like Larry King with marriage, fail for a fourth time and counting.
But mostly Barrow is just mad because Mike Duggan will run as a write-in candidate, even though Barrow went through all the trouble to get Duggan kicked off Survivor Island the ballot in court.
"It's creepy when a man tries to force himself on you against your will, and that is what Duggan is doing in his last desperate grasp to satisfy the political bloodlust of his supporters," Barrow said in a press release.
It's more than creepy when a man tries to force himself on anyone against their will. In fact, it's called rape. And that's a crime. A really, really bad crime.
Normally, it's refreshing when politicians go off-script and speak colorfully, but comparing a legal write-in campaign to rape doesn't so much insult Mike Duggan as it demeans the experience of actual rape victims.
Is Mike Duggan forcing himself upon voters against their will? Not if those voters, you know, don't vote for him.
Also, how does supporting the candidate of your choice constitute bloodlust? Usually we just call that campaigning. It might be hard to believe, but Barrow's response to Duggan's re-entry gets more unhinged.
"With this decision, Duggan thinks he is better than the City Charter, better than the four judges, better than two Michigan courts, better than an entire field of qualified candidates, and ...better than even the last Messiah 2000 years ago who rose from the dead."
Barrow pressed that he will continue his campaign as planned, as if Duggan is a non-factor.
"It's too bad that he will have to waste hundreds of thousands of dollars on a cash and carry hubris campaign for the wealthy and arrogant" stated Barrow, 64, "but even more important, its too bad he is not eligible to participate in any candidate forum since only candidates appearing on the August 6th ballot are eligible to do so."
The ellipses before the part about the "last Messiah" (who new there were multiple Messiahs?) are Barrow's. Whatever he said between "and" and "better than" apparently wasn't something Tom Barrow wanted to share.
Anyway, here's the thing, Tom, as I'm sure the City Charter, four judges, two Michigan courts, and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ can tell you, Mike Duggan actually has a perfectly legal right to run for office as a write-in candidate.
Write-in campaigns happen all the time. Current Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski was re-elected as a write-in candidate after losing the Republican primary in 2010. Former DC Mayor Anthony Williams had to win a Democratic Party primary as a write-in back in 2002. Write-in candidates are a perfectly legal thing, even if they don't (quelle horreur) receive invitations to candidate forums. Occasionally, when voters like a write-in candidate, they win.
If Detroit voters don't want to write-in Mike Duggan for mayor, they're perfectly capable of selecting another candidate. Of course, if history is any indication, they're not likely to select Tom Barrow either.
